It’s official! You are going to have a baby! Congratulations to you and yours! What a wonderful thing it is to be a parent, especially a new parent. There’s so much to do to prepare, so much to consider and decide. One of the most important decisions is what to name the baby when he or she arrives, and for some it can be the absolute hardest decision you make during the entire pregnancy.
Unless you and your spouse have had your babies named since those late night, pre-marriage lovey dovey talks on the phone, you’ll be starting from scratch. As a parent who has gone through this once or twice, I feel your pain. But worry not! I have figured out 10 tips to help ease the struggle and keep in mind when choosing the baby’s name.
1. Start coming up with possibilities early, like on your way home from the first OB appointment early. This practice will give you the most time to decide, obviously, but also saves you from one of those last minute choices that you may regret later. You may not know, but you need to pick a name before you leave the hospital, otherwise the child’s birth certificate will be auto named “Baby Boy” or “Baby Girl”. The only way to fix this is to file an amendment to the certificate, but it will always read that way. So no good settling on one because the pressure is on, right?
2. Use any resource you have, like baby name books, internet searches, favorite works of literature or film, or your family tree. Be sure to include your spouse in this process. It’s a great chance to spend some quality time together. You will find that two heads are better than one, and it helps to get the obvious rejected names out of the way.
3. Until about 16-20 weeks along, you won’t know whether the baby will be a boy or girl. Maybe you’d rather be surprised. And maybe, even if you think you know, you may still be surprised! So it’s smart to have a name picked out for both genders. (see tip 1.)
4. It’s absolutely ok to want to give your baby a unique or uncommon name. But be serious and smart about this. Too unique and your child will suffer for it their entire life, be it teasing or others confusion over saying it or spelling it. Be honest, you truly don’t want that for your child, no matter how much you like Lord of the Rings or Old Testament figures. Inventing your own name really isn’t a good idea either. And no, Heaven spelled backwards is not original.
5. Say the possible names out loud many times. The whole name, first middle and last. You want it to sound nice and flow together well. You will find that many names, though nice on their own, do not pair well with others. Same goes for first name – last name pairings.
6. It doesn’t hurt to try writing out the names to see how they look on paper. If you’ve followed tip 5, then you already know how the name sounds. Writing it out will allow you a chance to visualize the flow of it and to check your spellings. Which leads me to…
7. Watch out for alternative spellings of traditional or even nontraditional names. Just because you can spell it in an interesting way, doesn’t mean you should. It’s very easy to cause issues as in tip 4. by using an odd spelling. Also, in case you actually don’t know how to spell a name properly, this can help to eliminate the wrong ways before it’s too late.
8. Look for possibly bad nicknames. Also, pay attention to the initials as well. We don’t want our child to be teased with a nickname, or an unfortunate initial combination (see tip 4.). That said though, remember that kids can be evil, and no matter what steps you take to keep your child’s name from being an issue, they will always have to tolerate some form of teasing and ignorance. So you don’t need to be overly conservative.
9. Be mindful or the reputation or impression that a name gives. People tend to think of whomever they know who may have that name, be it a friend, your wife’s ex boyfriend, a celebrity or a historical figure. If that name tends to illicit thoughts that are negative for these reasons, maybe it’s not a good idea.
10. This is a big one in my book. Take relatives and friends suggestions with a grain of salt. Everyone’s tastes and interests are different, and they probably don’t match your own. You will undoubtably be bombarded by Grandmas, Aunts and Uncles and your best coworkers. Grandmas are the worst by the way. They will latch onto a couple names and subtly “suggest” them over and over… and likely they won’t agree with many of your choices either. Be patient and hear them out, but that’s all you are obliged to do. Remember, this is your child, and you don’t need to please anyone. They will love the baby regardless of what you choose to name it.
Enjoy this process. Have fun with it. There’s no need to stress and fuss over choosing a name for your baby. Just keep these tips in mind. When the right one hits you, you will know.
